I joined Weeengland from the business world. Admittedly I had a minor role as a functionary in a waste disposal business, Capital A’s Waste Disposal for Environmental Profit. I left waste disposal thinking that I had entered a liberal university world, where sexism no longer existed. Unfortunately this is not the case.
I was the only male member of staff in registry. I was promoted, and eventually became Head of Registry. Three female colleagues should have been promoted ahead of me, given their years of experience, and their knowledge of the systems at Weeengland. The culture at Weeengland is reminiscent of a BBC radio studio. Promotions depend upon who one is sleeping with, and who has not complained about being groped. The month before I left an applicant for a Professorship was advised, privately of course, that having children would damage her academic career. The service departments tend to be staffed by women, but are almost all managed by men. Have a look at your own institution.
The Universities claims to be addressing this. However the disparity in pay, in promotions, the refusal of Universities to deal with childcare issues other than to make it another form of profit-making – all this indicates that Universities are the bastard children of the Catholic monasteries where men are serviced by the women who work for them. You will point to exceptions – the odd female VC here and there – but Weeengland has exactly the same distribution of job roles as in an average UK University.
Look at these figures:
Women comprise 8% of Vice-Chancellors in the UK;
Women comprise 6% of Deputy Vice-Chancellors in the UK;
These are the lowest percentages for any developed country in the world. And guess what? All VCs, that is every single one bar 2, had an Oxbridge education. At Weeengland 16% of Professors are female, the same percentage as in the rest of the UK. So what you say? We have equal opportunities policies, the best candidates are interviewed and appointed. But who makes appointments? At Weeengland the average interview panel comprises four men and one woman.
In my case I was sleeping with the woman who interviewed me. Professor Woodley interviewed Roberta Rainsford. The photographs I released to the press show Professor Rainsford treating Woodley to the pleasures of the knout. Those photographs were taken during the lunch break on the day of the interviews. How was Woodley appointed you ask? That is a dark story, the details of which I will publish in the next week. The simple fact is the University is sexist. Women are still treated like second-rate citizens, not quite part of the boys club, unlikely to achieve promotion at the same rate or into the same roles as their less competent male colleagues.
Jonathan P. Tyson
Higher Education Consultant
PS: I am still seeking Churchill Bow ties. Please email me if you have any interesting 19th century versions.
weeengland university life 