Timetable Anarchy from the University of Weeengland Anarchist Collective: Declaration of War

 

We in UWAC take inspiration from anarchists of the 1890s, in particular Martial Bourdin. Our comrade Martial carried out the first, the most inspired, (but unfortunately unsuccessful) terrorist attack on the British mainland. His target: Greenwich Observatory. Why? Historians have focused on the grisly details of his death: the bomb which exploded whilst he still carried it; the hole that it blew in his stomach; the bits of bone founds decades later embedded in the walls of the observatory. The media frenzy, reminiscent of anti-terrorism headlines in the Sun today, meant that the extraordinary inspiration underlying this act was lost:

Bourdin attacked the timetable.

Not just any timetable: the global timetable which two years before this attack on the 12th of February 1894, was located at Greenwich. GMT established the tyranny of time, the bane of the working man, the simple measure which reduces life to a universal calculus. Anarchists inspired by Bourdin know that their primary target is time, in all of its oppressive variants.

Here at Weeengland this oppressive matrix is maintained by the timetable Tsar. Just as anarchists of the 1880s killed Russian Tsars, so must we assassinate the timetable Tsar. The Centralised Timetable Computing System of Weeengland (more generally known by the acronym CTCSW) is our first target, and we do not exempt its operatives. Bourdin attacked General Mean Time. He left his bone encrusted in time as a reminder to all of us, as a call to revolutionary activity today. We call on all anarchist activists at Weeengland to revitalise once again the propaganda of the deed. To be precise:

– If you are an anarchist lecturer arrive at your lecture venue when you feel like it. If challenged insist that your act is an attack on time, on timetables, on the system which accounts for every moment of our lives in this University;

– If you are a student corrupt time. Change the hands on clocks in every seminar room; arrive early, late, on time and  demand that the seminar, the lecture the tutorial takes place immediately. Hand in your essays late, or early. Disrupt the narrative demands of clear writing. If your lecturer accuses you of dyslexia teach her about the propaganda of the deed;

– When the union announces meetings occupy the rooms early, and refuse to leave. The UCU and its allies participate in the centralised control over time, over bodies and over labour. Resist this imperialistic bureaucratic organization. Disrupt the UCU narrative;

– These propaganda deeds will elicit the full force of the privatised University-State-Union security apparatus. Your phones will be bugged. You will be followed. This happened to Bourdin. His response was to explode time and its oppressive power. As time gradually explodes in the faces of the centralised timetable fascists you may have to sacrifice limbs, stomachs, bodies like our hero Bourdin. We need our bones to stick in the throats of the clock hand imperialists. DOWN WITH TIME. DOWN WITH TIMETABLES!

– We must fulfill the destiny left to us by MARTIAL BOURDIN. The timetable of the University of Weeengland is the first step in our struggle to attack General Mean Time. Lecturers you may not be anarchists but you know about the fascism of the timetable. Join the revolution now!

UWAC in conjunction with the spirit of Martial Bourdin

 

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