Monthly Archives: September 2012

For all PhD students- RDF Wheel – The Future is in the Stars: Research Excellence at Weeengland

Dear Colleagues, Andy Wiles, Impact Statistician at Capital Academicians here again! Today I have the great pleasure of introducing the  research development wheel, adapted from the Astrological Chart, and adopted by all leading HE institutions (see this link!!: http://www.vitae.ac.uk/rdf). This … Continue reading

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Candice Weymouth President of UWEEE Student’s Union welcomes you to the party!!

I am so excited to welcome you new Weeenglander! As a student you are automatically a member of the Students’ Union of UWEEE. Join me on this unique journey of shopping, clubbing, drinking, eating and purchasing of your own future. … Continue reading

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VC’s Rapid Reaction Unit: Keywords for employability

Dear Colleagues, Recent reports in the media (channel 4, the Guardian, the Sun) suggest that preeminent employers  use software to scan CVs for key words. The VC‘s rapid response unit has identified these key words, and aims to insert them … Continue reading

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Edit of VC’s address to CRAP students by Sarah Ruskin, Admin Assistant to VC

Dear VC Woodley, Your welcome address to the new students of CRAP is, as always, excellent. However it needs an edit. VC’s welcome addresses must abide by three golden rules: The address must be boring. Every student must yawn at … Continue reading

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Draft Welcome Address from VC of Weeengland: Assume the Missionary Postion

The Vice-Chancellor`s welcome to the Faculty of Creative and Applied Practices (CRAP), 2012  (Sarah please edit this draft. Don’t worry about the asides. I will delete them) A very warm welcome to the University of Weeengland. Our mission is to … Continue reading

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Terrorist Alert at University of Weeengland Ends

All University Buildings Open: End to Terrorist Alert at University of Weeengland Dear Staff, Police sniffer dogs have now checked every clock on all University premises. No explosive devices were found. Police are investigating UWAC, al known associates, and any … Continue reading

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Terrorist Alert: University of Weeengland Closed

For All University Staff The anti terrorist unit of Scotland Yard have advised the Senior Management Team to close the University following a terrorist alert. A printed statement from the University of Weeengland Anarchist Collective warned of an imminent attack … Continue reading

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