Monthly Archives: August 2012

Scandal at University of Weeengland

Jean Tully, Education Correspondent for the New Times investigates allegations of corruption, sex and incompetence at University of Weeengland as Jonathan Tyson bites back. You probably have an idealistic view of the modern University. You imagine keen students listening to … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Email to all Academics from Professor of Retail Integration

Staff, We must prepare for the outsourcing of all services to Capital Academicians. Soon all staff (other than those on academic contracts), will be employed by Capital A. This radical development cuts costs and saves time allowing you to concentrate … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Final Exclusive Interview with VC of University of Weeengland

Jean Tully, Education Correspondent for the New Times, in her final exclusive interview with Professor Woodley, VC of the failing University of Weeengland. “Professor, welcome back. In last week’s interviews we talked about sex, about corruption, and about under recruitment. … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Emergency Marketing Meeting: University of Weeengland

I am sorry to call this meeting on bank holiday Monday. As you know from Friday we will  be employed by Capital Academicians. They do not know about this meeting. We need to devise an innovative, perhaps unthinkable, marketing strategy, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

To Professor Woodley, VC, and Bill Huntingdon, CEO Capital Academicians

Dear Professor Woodley and Bill, I am very sorry for sending out that email, before my job at Weeengland was formally transferred over to Capital Academicians. I was so excited at the prospect of improving the research profile of the … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Improve your Research Impact (and sex life) at University of Weeengland

Dear Weeengland Researcher, Allow me to introduce myself, Dr Andy Stiles, impact statistician at Capital Academicians. You will be aware that the University of Weeengland has outsourced all services to Capital A. This includes measuring your research impact. Here at … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Exclusive Second Interview with VC of Failing University of Weeengland: Part 2

Jean Tully, Education Correspondent for the New Times, continues her exclusive interview with Professor Woodley, VC of the failing University of Weeengland. “Professor Woodley, welcome back. I trust all is going well at work?” “Indeed Jean.” “Yesterday we explored the … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment